Purple Squirrel

Some light research of current job market trends (if you can’t get a real job, you can at least be well versed in why) has revealed a new, tricky, profile of the perfect candidate that has even experienced professionals struggling to fill positions in their field. Apparently, the current job market demands that more work be accomplished with less actual workers, thus leading to a search not to fill the position, but to fill multiple positions now conglomerated into one, and this, of course, requires a highly specific sort of candidate. I was most impressed with an analysis of the trend posted on the Writer’s Coin that illuminates the differences between old and new candidate requirements by comparing a swiss army knife to a hammer – "A swiss-army knife can do lots of smaller tasks rather well, while a hammer does just one thing, but does it really well." The downside to this model, as the post’s author shrewdly observes, is that “A swiss-army knife, last time I checked, sucks at hammering.” But that’s the thing about the current job market – overarching trends demonstrate that employers are currently only seeking the knife candidate. The hammer is now an old school tool and, if the world economy is our toolbox, then I guess that makes the current job market the phillips head, because we’re all getting screwed. Regardless, knives and hammers and other tools aside, the myth of the multi-faceted candidate with intense multi-tasking abilities is dominating the job market, and there is a real industry term for this individual rumored to have the exact set of diverse skills required to fulfill all aspects of the open position: the Purple Squirrel.

Since I am a bit underemployed myself, and have started a food blog with the word squirrel in the title, I was instantly enamored with the term and that, of course, led me straight back to Google in a frantic search to find the origin of the unique phrase, and which led to the discovery of two troubling mysteries. The first is that the actual origin of the phrase remains somewhat at large. I’m not proud of it, but the most concise explanation of the term actually came to me from Urban Dictionary, which identifies the term purple squirrel as synonymous to the “ideal” or “elusive” candidate. It should probably be mentioned, however, that Urban Dictionary also offers subsequent definitions of the term, one pertaining to the aftermath of imbibing a bit too much wine, and one identifying the purple squirrel as the creature you might meet after ingesting magical mushrooms and/or acid. Whatever definition you select, they all paint a pretty grim picture for landing your dream job in the near future.

            The second mystery is Pete, the literally purple squirrel whose indigo hue has stumped scientists and animal experts across the UK.

            Depressing industry research and wrongfully dyed vermin aside, I have actually landed a job in Boston, and though it’s not the writing job I dreamed of, it’s exciting and challenging in other ways. I’m not ready to publicly reveal where exactly I’m working since I’ve only had training so far, and during training managed to break 2 wine glasses. I will say that it’s a job as a server in a beautiful, fine dining restaurant. I think it goes without saying that I was thrilled to get a job because school tuition and rent are both very fixed prices, which meant the only place for budgetary wiggle-room was in weekly food allowance, and I was starting to ration the raisins. However, what was more exciting than getting the position was that it was made clear to me during the interview that I was going to be hired for the position not because I had outstanding waiting experience (did I mention the broken stemware?) but rather because I was intelligent.
            When I prepared my resume for the interview, I tried to fluff up the two jobs I actually have had in the food service industry, one of those being a server at a well known French Boulangerie, and the other being a waitress at an Inn where yes, I did serve breakfast and bake afternoon treats for the guests, but I also scrubbed their toilets and removed large quantities of their hair from shower drains (these details were marked on my resume as follows: advanced knowledge of the finer details of hospitality). My resume is primarily filled with publicity and communications gigs, which seem to be enough to overqualify me for most server and secretary positions, and underqualify me for most writing jobs where you actually get paid. My new manager told me, however, that he was very impressed with my communications background and degree, to which I smiled politely and said “Thank You,” quieting my internal monologue that said, you mean my drink coaster? And now I’m partially employed once again, and actually happily so. That’s not to say I’m not entirely nervous for my first actual day on the job. In fact, I’ve just purchased several bottles of wine if anyone is free later; I have no intention of drinking them, that’ll be your job, I just have to rehearse opening them because I’ve been told I need to be able to open a bottle of wine tableside with finesse by Monday. My current method for popping the cork includes holding the bottle between my legs while I wrestle with the foil, and is apparently not acceptable in a fine dining establishment.

            The point of all of this is to say that nothing is getting easier, so your attitude has to. Interviewing for a content writing and social media internship for a well known culinary institution that shall remain nameless, I started to get the big picture. Sure I had a BA in English, experience writing for print and online media, an employment and internship background in publicity and marketing communications, editorial and creative writing training, but I didn’t have a substantial Twitter following, and that was the deal breaker. It turns out that in today’s fast paced, media driven economy, writing skills are not enough; you have to write and have enough virtual friends to give the impression that people actually care, and sadly, my parents aren’t on Facebook, so I’m really just out of luck. I suppose, in my heart, I have been holding on to the assumption that I am the elusive, purple squirrel – well trained with enough creative flare to do my job well and to make it interesting. It turns out I’m just your average rodent, but rather than be disappointed about it, I think I’ve decided to be happy with any employment that makes me cheerful in the moment (also, this particular job comes with a daily, killer, staff meal), and that has a manager who sees my intellect, even if it is currently well hidden with wine-bottle fumblings.

Since this post has been only loosely food related, here is a new food term I just learned:

Za’atar – a Middle Eastern spice blend used on meats, veggies, rice, and breads, and most often made of sumac, thyme, toasted sesame seeds, marjoram, oregano, and salt.

And a picture of roasted eggplant with goat cheese, parsley, and pomegranate seeds. Recipe available from the beautiful cookbook, PLENTY.