Salted

Sodium is an element, and one essential to the proper functioning of the human body. Too much salt is hypernatremia, too little is hyponatremia. Sodium is actually crucial to daily, bodily performance as it is responsible for maintaining the balance of bodily fluids, it assists in transmitting nerve pulses, and it even influences the correct contractions and flexion of the muscles.

            Sodium Chloride (NaCl) is the chemical formula that we know commonly as table salt, added to proteins to tenderize the meat, to sauces to bring out the nuanced flavors of other ingredients, and to vegetables, and grains, and so on, as the final seasoning -- that little something extra to make the dish delicious.

Halite, also known as rock salt, is the mineral form of sodium chloride. In the winter, it’s used to melt the ice from the roadways to make them safe to drive on. It has also brilliantly rusted a pinhole through the muffler of my little white Toyota, making it embarrassingly loud to drive in.

Salt is not only a seasoning; it is an essential baking catalyst. It steadies fermentation activity, strengthens gluten proteins, and plays an essential role in water retention. In humid climates it is also responsible for the total sogging of that crisp batch of cookies left out to cool.

Sea salt is sodium chloride in natural form. That does mean that although it’s chemical formula is also NaCl, it’s laced with several impurities as well -- the resulting residue from the evaporation of seawater. The sea salt crystals are too large to glide through the holes of the average saltshaker, so they are instead dispensed from a salt-grinder, or spooned from a dish, or jar, or salt pot, likely left by the stove. In coastal communities, the wind can carry high quantities of sea salt, and too much salt in the air with too little rain can have devastating effects on local plant life. The winds of Hurricane Irene pushed such a large quantity of sodium chloride inland, that when the mineral settled on the leaves of the mainland trees, they quickly let off all their water and shriveled; the Cape Cod flora has been badly sea salt burned.

            To go back to the salt mines is to head off to work, to eat someone’s salt is to be someone’s guest, to have something hung up and salted is to know everything on and about the topic, to rub salt in the wound is to deliberately draw attention to someone else’s misfortune or unhappiness, to take something with a pinch of salt is to be skeptical of the story, to be worth one’s salt is to be worthy of an investment of time or money, to be the salt of the earth is to be a humble and admiral individual, and to be salty is to be irked, or annoyed, or to exhibit a needlessly short temper.

I have been salty, and I've admitted it, several times being the first to proclaim that in certain situations I was certainly acting like a salt-head (actually, I used a different descriptive four-letter word that also starts with s). I’m going to chalk it up to a week of big decisions, and failed recipes, and salt-rusted car mufflers (don’t panic parents, it’s getting replaced soon), and dead foliage, and a general salt imbalance. But those are really just silly, salty excuses. So, to friends, and boyfriend, and family members (I’m thinking here, perhaps, specifically of a certain maternal figure) who kindly choked down a whole lot of over salted and undercooked bread, and a lot of salty attitude too this week, let me assure you that some sugary recipes and sweet dispositions are on the way.